Taking It Back

"Well, I went to the enemy's camp

And I took back what he stole from me

Now he's under my feet

He's under my feet

Satan is under my feet"

I had a great time at the mom's conference this weekend. It was my first time to go and I wasn't really sure what it was all about..... but a whole 2 days to get away and spend time with friends.... sign me up!!

I came back feeling refreshed and ready to give this whole mothering thing another go! I feel like my purpose as a mother has been clarified and I have a renewed focus.

But that's not the point of this post....

God moved for me this weekend in a way I really wasn't expecting. It was during the last meeting and I was having to hold my eyelids up to stay awake when Sally started giving a part of her testimony.

I won't go into details, but for a few years there's been an area that I've... not really struggled with, but maybe been holding back a little. Basically what she said was, during a time in her life when she had had a lot of loss, she realized that sometimes we just have to choose to believe.

When things are going wrong, choose to believe that God is good. When prayers aren't being answered, choose to believe that God never fails us. It's a choice. We can choose to focus on everything that's going wrong until it consumes us. Or we can choose to believe God and stand on his word, and when we do that we will begin to see all the good and true things that we would have missed if we'd focused on the bad.

Before this weekend, I could have told you all that and believed it. It's not a new revelation. But somehow, hearing this woman who's lost so much more than I have admit that sometimes it's a struggle, but she still has her joy in the Lord, it really took root in my heart.

So today I'm thankful..... thankful to God for his longsuffering toward me, for his grace and mercy, and for answering the cries of my heart in a way and a place where I least expected it.

Lies We Believe

This weeks chapter in my book study was all about priorities. What's really important to us... and where do we really place our walk with God on our list of things to do??

One thing that jumped out at me.... actually while I was reading my friend Jennifer's blog.... is how God gives us enough time to accomplish everything HE has for us to do in the day. Part of our reading was in Proverbs 31, and I admit I don't measure up. My excuse has always been that I have 3 messy boys (4 if you count Brian!) in the house so anything I'm going to do is just going to get messed up again..... usually as soon as I leave the room! So I do the bare minimum to get by and not be horribly embarrassed if someone comes over unexpectedly. That means that while the clothes are clean... we have to dig through the dryer and baskets to find something to wear, and while you can usually find a clean plate.... there's a stack of dirty in the sink most of the day, while the floors are swept..... there are still toys scattered everywhere.

Satan has lied to me and told me that keeping a clean house is to much, not worth the effort, and I need time to do things I enjoy and not spend all that time slaving over the housework. But God is telling me that part of my ministry for Him is keeping a tidy house. I John 5:3 says For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. So the things that God has for me to do are not too hard, and the way I show my love for Him is by doing His will.

And the thing is it's not really about a tidy house. God knows that when I wake up to a clean kitchen I feel better about my day. When the house is in decent shape I'm in a better mood. And when I feel better I treat my family better. If the house is crazy, I just want everyone to leave me alone. But last night I had the boys pitch in a help tidy up and clean the kitchen, working together everyone was cheerful and it took all of 15 minutes to get things in shape. Then I felt up to spending time reading to them before bed and ..... maybe because of that or maybe because they had expended all their energy cleaning house.... when they went to bed they laid right down and went to sleep.

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Another thing we were reading this week is how important prayer is in our lives. I don't think many of us would come right out and say that we can get by on our own steam and don't need to spend that time in fellowship with the Lord.... but that's what we believe when we put everything else ahead of our prayer time. How arrogant of us!!!! Go read Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35 and Luke 6:12 and 9:28. Jesus himself.... the Word made flesh (John 1:14), with the fulness of the Godhead dwelling in Him (Col 2:9).... still took that time to get away by himself and pray. And we think we don't have to.... seriously???? What arrogance!!!

Learning to drive

Brian's teaching me to drive his truck..... it's a lot of fun... not!!!

Somehow, out of the four children in our house growing up, I was the only one never taught to drive a standard. I learned on an automatic and that's all I've ever driven.... until now. In an effort to spend our money more wisely I'm trying to learn so that when my van dies I can drive his truck instead of having to buy a new vehicle. Only problem is his truck is HUGE.... and a stick.... and scares me to death. But I can do this. I will persevere!!!

Today we borrowed my brothers normal size truck for me to practice. Oh, joy!!

Brian: Let off
Me: LET OFF WHAT?!?

Brian: There's a car, slow down
Me: HOW????

Me: Ok, so when I need to stop what do I do?
Brian: sigh I just told you a minute ago
Me: WELL TELL ME AGAIN!!!!

We won't talk talk about how many times it died when I tried to take off.... or how the gear shift knob CAME OFF IN MY HAND while I was shifting...... or how I was driving along at a speedy 30 mph and came to a flooded creek and he wouldn't tell me how to stop. But I will say I didn't wreck and I don't think I did any permanent damage to Chad's truck!!

All in all I think I did pretty good..... but if you see me coming in a big ole blue truck you might want to get far away!!!

I know it's after midnight and I should be in bed by now..... 7:00's going to come early.... but tonight was book study night and I'm having trouble shutting my brain off!

I'm reading through "The Lies Women Believe and The Truth That Sets Them Free" with a group of friends and it's been such an encouragement. Thanks Jennifer for planning and leading us!! We're only about half way through, but I'd already really recommend this to anyone who hasn't read it. Go get a copy.... or better yet wait til I'm through and you can borrow mine. It's all about the lies that Satan tries to trap us with to keep us from reaching our potential with God. So many of them are so prevalent in society that many times we don't even recognize them as lies, but when you hold it up to the truth of God's word it becomes obvious.

I'm really enjoying our group nights. I hope I'm as much of an encouragement to the other ladies as they are to me! I tend to isolate myself.... not always on purpose, just busy with the boys...... so it's nice to spend time with other mom's who have a heart for Jesus and a desire to live pleasing to Him.

One of the lies this week..... and I'm paraphrasing here 'cause I don't want to get up and find my book!..... is that "My Sins Aren't That Bad". Standing next to a sinful world I might not look that bad..... but the thing is God doesn't look at us compared to how everyone else is doing. I have to stand myself up next to His Word, that's the yardstick we're measured by.

I have to admit to sometimes wanting to believe this lie. I'll tell myself Well, at least I don't do That or No one knows about it so it's not that big a deal. But truthfully I know better. Sometimes I have to remind myself that Jesus didn't just die for my "little" sins too, He died for them period. My sin of unkind thoughts caused my Lord to be put to death. Because of my jealousy Jesus had to die on the cross. And He didn't hang there a minute for me and the rest of the time was for the "bad" sinners..... it was all for me. Sin is sin is sin.... there is no big or little, there is no bad and not so bad, it all separates us from God. Fortunately He did make a way, because of Jesus' sacrifice we can now come to God and His blood covers our sins, no matter how "big" or "little" we might think they are.

This Little Light of Mine

Our power was knocked out during the storms Wednesday evening. The boys thought it was a great adventure to eat and get ready for church by lamp light but when bed time came it was a whole 'nother story!!

They sleep with a night light so I lit a small candle and set it up high on a shelf in their room.... and threatened them within an inch of their life if they bumped the shelf or threw anything in the room! Of course it was pitch black in their room and they weren't to sure how much light one little candle would give, but when I went back to check on them they were sound asleep and that one little candle was giving out enough light to light up the whole room.

It got me thinking about myself. I often doubt that I'm much of a light to anyone. I don't get out much and I'm not very outspoken as a general rule. But that little candle reminded me that we shouldn't doubt our witness or think that what we do doesn't count for anything. We may never know who we're shedding light on but even a small light is bright in darkness.

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Matthew 5: 14-15

catching up

I had several things I wanted to blog about..... right now I can only think of two.... we'll see how it goes!!






Meet Gatsby, the newest member of our family! We've had him for about a week and a half now and he's a sweetheart. Housebroke (WOOHOO!), very tolerant of the boys, and well mannered. If I could only get the other menfolk in this house to behave as well as he does we'd be all set!

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Tim Tebow

I read an article on him earlier. He's been on the edge of my radar for a while now just because he was homeschooled and seems to be a decent guy and true success story.

The piece was basically slamming him for appearing in an ad by Focus on the Family that's going to air during the Super Bowl. Apparently it's ok to be a christian as long as you're quiet about it and don't let anyone know what you believe. Seems it was one thing for him to be outspoken about his beliefs in college but if he wants to be a success in pro-football then he's going to have to 'hide his light'.

I say way to go Tebow!! It's great to see someone on his level standing up for what he believes. No, I don't think people need to be slammed over the head with the Gospel, but we also shouldn't be afraid to share our beliefs or testimony. And the idea that he should shut up in order to have worldly success just grates on me. Just goes to show how some people have their priorities so totally messed up that they don't get what's truly important.

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Just bragging on my boys!!!

The last two day of school have been awesome!! Between one thing and another we had almost no school from the week of Thanskgiving until last week. Getting in the groove last week was not easy but this week they have gotten with the program and it's been wonderful!

I'm so proud of how much they've accomplished this year. It's easy to get discouraged because we're not as far along as I'd hoped we'd be, but when I made myself stop and remember how far they've come I realize we've done a lot!

Faith as a Grain of Mustard Seed

I was reading this morning in James where he talks about faith, and faith without works being dead, and Abraham's faith being made perfect by his works. It's James 2:14-26 if you want to look it up, I won't copy it all here.

It got me thinking.... kinda off topic but that's how my mind works!.... of when Jacob was a newborn and had kidney problems. I forget the name of it now but basically his kidneys didn't work properly to flush everything out of his body. We first saw it in a sonogram while I was pregnant with him, his kidney's were larger than they should have been. After he was born we had to take him to Fort Worth to the children's hospital for more tests and the doctor there put him on daily antibiotics to prevent an infection.

Y'all that know me know that I'm not big on taking my kids to the doctor. I guess the last time I took one in for a sick visit was 2 years ago when Travis had a bad ear infection and then developed Bell's Palsy. So I wasn't to thrilled with having Jake on daily antibiotics when he didn't have an infection.

We did it for a few weeks but it just didn't sit right with me. I just really felt that I needed to trust God for Jake's healing and not the meds. I don't judge anyone for taking meds, I'm on daily medicine right now and do give my kids medicine when they need it, but in this instance I felt like I was out of God's will by giving him the antibiotics.

So I stopped. And then I felt worse! The devil jumped on me then, telling me Jacob was going to get an infection and it would be all my fault.

One night at church I confided my struggle to a sister in the Lord. What she shared has stuck with me ever since. She said that that morning she had taught her class on having faith as a grain of mustard seed and then she held out her hand. When she did I felt God all over me and started crying right there.... I'm almost crying now just thinking about it.

I've heard that passage in scripture my whole life, but seeing her stretch out her hand and picturing just that tiny bit of faith, it really came alive. Do it now, look in the palm of your hand... do you believe God that much? Sometimes when we're facing a problem the problem can seem so big and our faith so little. But a little bit is all we need. Looking in her hand it was obvious, of course I believe God that much, that's easy!!

And thinking on that little bit of faith, it started to grow. Suddenly instead of being beaten down by worry I was lifted up by faith. Not so much faith for his healing but just faith in God. That's really all we need. It doesn't matter what we're facing as long as our eyes are on God and not on the trial.

Hebrews 11:16 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Jacob was healed. I kept him off the antibiotics, he never developed an infection and when we took him back for his follow up tests everything was normal.

Matthew 17:20 .....If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.